How to help your kid succeed at soccer, even if you know nothing about the sport

I hear that familiar ka-clump, ka-clump coming nearer and nearer as I wait my turn at the deli counter. Ah, I’ve missed that sound over the summer months, but it returns every fall. Just to confirm it’s back, I turn and look. Yep, there’s dad and a pint-sized soccer player, red-clad from neck to knees sporting brand new black socks and newly muddied soccer cleats, scuffing down the snack food aisle. The ka-clump is unmistakable, but why doesn’t someone tell this kid to take off his boots at the field and slip on something non-skid for the grocery stop on the way home?

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Perhaps this parent is new to youth soccer and he didn’t get the memo. Or perhaps we’re not sending out that memo any more. You know, the one that’s titled: How to Help Your Kid Succeed in Soccer Even if you Don’t Know the First thing About Soccer. Here is my bullet list of best practices for rookie parents.

• Have your kid bring enough water in an insulated container (disposable 4-8 oz bottles are not enough)
• Send your kid with the properly sized (#3, 4 or 5, according to age) soccer ball labeled in permanent marker with your child’s name in at least 2 places. Be sure it is inflated!
• Feed your kid a healthy, easily digestible snack before practice and pack one in his bag (hungry kids are good for pretty much nothing).
• Arrive at practice with enough time for your kid to put on his gear and get all the way to the practice field before start time.
• Walk your kid to his practice field on opening day and have him introduce himself to the coach. (This is also a good way to be sure you have the right coach and team.)
• If you stay and watch practice, do so from a respectable distance.
• If you don’t stay, be on time for pick-up. Be sure your kid knows who is picking him up.
• At games, cheer for good soccer played by either team.
• After games, shake the coach’s hand in thanks for their efforts and encourage your child to do the same.
• Take the cleats off at the field (soccer sandals, flip-flops, sneakers are all good) so you don’t fall in the parking lot or the grocery aisle. This also keeps mud and turf nubs to a minimum in dad’s new car.

+READ: Effort Injuries are Taking Kids Out: is “positive” parenting to blame?

Every family should be contributing to the team in some way. Coaches or assistant coaches who can keep the emphasis on fun and a bit of learning are priceless, and even better if they are willing to get a little training, but there are tons of things parents can do to help the coach focus on the kids and be a more effective coach. Even if you haven’t been asked directly, here are a few things to consider doing:

• Help pack up and carry equipment.
• Bring a ball pump and top off those soccer balls.
• Help print, fill out and/or collect paperwork.
• Volunteer to help line the fields.
• Coordinate snacks.
• Help with admin and communications.
• Provide ice or TLC for the kid who gets bumped.

For parents of more experienced soccer players, I would add these tried and true practices:

• Have your kid create a system to be sure he has everything he needs for his games and practices.
• Put your kid in charge of whether his uniform is clean on game day. Let him wear it dirty.
• Let the kid forget his (cleats, water, ball, etc) and allow him to experience the consequences.
• At the game, resist the urge to instruct or admonish your kid or any kid from the sidelines.
• Schedule transition time for your kid and your family so he can cool down and stretch after the game.
• On the car ride home, resist the urge to “discuss” how things went.
• Learn the game and the rules and become an educated spectator or even a referee.
• If you have a medical or health care background, learn how to identify and manage a player with an injury, even a possible concussion.

How many of the hard feelings and how much of the dissension on our fields could we put to rest if we worked harder at working together?