SoccerWire is launching a new content series featuring advice from anonymous college recruiting experts, including coaches with extensive experience at the highest levels of the college game. SoccerWire’s recruiting experts will provide answers to some of the most common and challenging questions that come up from players and parents on issues surrounding the recruiting process.
Continue reading for a look at the first edition of the new series. New recruiting questions can be submitted anytime to [email protected] or via direct message on social media on X, Facebook or Instagram.
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Question: I’ve already verbally committed to a college program, but feel that I made a mistake. How can I gracefully back out of a commitment that I already announced publicly?
There’s a reason that college coaches want you to announce your commitment on social media and in your club’s player-profile book and anywhere else you can imagine. In addition to telling other schools to back off, we know that the more you shout your commitment from the rooftops, the more difficult it will be for you to back out of your commitment. The more you advertise your joy about your college decision, the sillier you’ll feel changing your mind. So we supply the brush and a few gallons of virtual semi-gloss, then stand back while you paint yourself into a corner.
If you’re having buyer’s remorse about your college commitment, backing out gracefully can be tricky, especially if you’ve plastered the world of social media with news of your commitment. But you can’t let some potential short-term embarrassment determine one of the most important decisions of your life. Okay, so you wish you hadn’t been so publicly outspoken. Too bad. You can’t worry about getting that particular genie back in the bottle because it ain’t happening. So you take the social media loss for the much more important win.
You made a mistake. A big one even. Happens to everyone now and again. Once you’ve decided that the school you committed to is not the right fit for you, my advice is to substitute speed and professionalism for grace. Act quickly. Your first responsibility is to tell the coach who was counting on your arrival that you’ve had a change of heart. There are two reasons why getting this news to him swiftly is important.
First of all, you backed out of an agreement and made a mess of his plans. The least you can do is give him as much time as possible to conjure up a Plan B. When it comes to recruiting, every day really does matter. Sure, you’ll have easier phone calls to make than this one, but stepping up and taking responsibility is all part of this crazy thing we call growing up.
The second reason you want to deliver this news quickly is that it’ll help you move on to a new school. No respectable coach is going to come near you until you officially de-commit. Once word travels down the grapevine, you may start hearing from other coaches, but in the beginning, it’s going to be you approaching another coach and saying that you de-committed. And chances are, the first thing he’s going to want is confirmation. And he’ll get it by calling the coach who had your initial commitment. Now imagine that coach’s surprise if you haven’t gotten the news to him first. If you end up in a mess like that, your reputation will take a big hit and coaches will scatter from you.
If reneging on your college commitment is in your own best interest, then pull the trigger. Any embarrassment you feel will be short-lived. In all honesty, people have much bigger things to worry about than where you are or are not going to college. Just be quick and professional, then move on with your life.
