Last month, we received nice comments after writing how positivity would change the youth soccer landscape.
Sadly, it was then back to reality. I was AR1, the assistant referee by the benches for an Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) game. My position was in front of the bench with four coaches, three of whom were trying to micromanage the players by telling them constantly where to go and the head coach yelled in frustration whenever one of his players miskicked the ball. It’s strange how coaches say “Relax!” which is very difficult to do when their players know they are going to be yelled at if they misplay the ball.
I can understand a coach being frustrated but I cannot understand why he would display that frustration as that only makes things worse.
After one player was substituted, the head coach said to her, “Poor, poor, poor.” After another player came off, he said, “Do you know anything about soccer?”
Funny as I was thinking, “Does this coach know anything about how to talk to 12-year-old girls to get the best out of them?” It would be bad enough if the coaches’ attitude was from Dad and Mom volunteers. But these coaches were somehow, somehow being paid by parents!
If these coaches ever took a coaching course, they learned little or nothing.
Maybe the coaches are better at this team’s soccer training sessions than at games. Otherwise, it’s the ultimate waste of money for parents. This is not a one-off as, sadly, kids are berated throughout the match at a minority of youth soccer games. And some will then lash out, whether back at their coaches or at the match ref.
Contrast this game with many others that I officiate where the coaches understand that this is youth soccer being played by kids and that they are their role model on how to behave.
With truthful and specific praise plus constructive criticism by coaches, performance would improve as well as the probability that kids will play sports longer. The youth soccer landscape would dramatically change and our referee shortage would subside if everybody was more positive and having a good time.
